There’s a fine line in surfing the absolute and the relative.
To be fully awake is to have fallen into the existential abyss of being in which all constructs that uphold the notion, perception and identity with a “separate self” are demolished, absolutely. This is the end of the story of “me” as you have known it, and the beginning of something very new. It’s a death and a rebirth. It’s the end of all inner division and the start of knowing yourself as inseparable from all that is (and this includes absolutely everything, however it appears, dark or light, blissful or painful). Now you move from wholeness and you are moved by wholeness. Personal will has been given to divine will and there is no more “me” fighting or arguing with the innate intelligence of Life.
To be fully human is to fully accept that your body-mind vehicle continues to operate in the world of form and you must navigate this world in order to be fully here. In some ways this is a sacrifice of the pristine silence of realized absolute, it’s a willingness to get down on your knees and be imperfectly human as you engage with the push and pull of relative reality and human interactions.
To surf this edge is the warrior’s path, it often hurts to be dragged out of the silent core of being in order to communicate effectively on a human level, in order to break the spell of holding onto any idea of “being enlightened and therefore perfect”, in order to have the humility to be seen as flawed. And yet, at all times, to give allegiance to the silent core from which it all emanates, and to not allow the need to please others or to be seen as “socially acceptable” to cover up the ruthless truth of silence.
I find myself surfing this edge a lot these days, as I fully engage with the world and all its demands. I never knew this would be the road taken in this life. And I do not know what twists and turns will come as long as I walk this earth. But I do know that silent stillness is my home, always.