For many years, the tide ebbed in my life. The journey was inwards and inwards, in order to discover and rest in that which is deeper and more enduring than the brokenness of this human story.
It took a long time, and a never-ending well of tender patience. I had to be beaten into humility and non-attachment. I had to be forged in the fire of un-doing and un-knowing.
This journey took me into such a silence within, such an innocent way of seeing life, and the “such-ness” of everything became primary.
And now, the tide is flowing. And still there is tenderness, there is silence, and there is not-knowing. But there is an impulse to move outwards, to give every molecule of this human-ness to the world.
Who knows how long this will last? Inevitably, the tide turns inwards again. But “now” is all that can be experienced and known. And this experience now is an outpouring of love and service, of passion and work, of surrender to the “such-ness” of life that is nudging quietly and irrevocably from the inside out.
While the whole thing is experienced as a divine illusion, there is a wholehearted commitment to the play of destiny. Who am I to say “no” to the ebb and flow of life? I am a servant not a master of life. In this way, what comes and what goes is not taken personally. It is all a temporary gift while walking on this earth. And when I stop walking and stop breathing, that will be a gift too .. the blessing of the deepest silence.