Relationship is where the rubber hits the road in spirituality. Pre-awakening or post-awakening, it’s a tricky place, a trigger-happy place.
You can be as enlightened as you like, but as soon as you enter the reality of day to day relating you are likely to fall from the giddy heights.
Intimacy is where the tenderness of the heart is exposed, and with this comes a fortress of protection in order to make ourselves safe from what hurts. Intimacy is where we forget the freedom of unbounded openness and come crashing down into the suffering of closure.
Intimacy is where the ugliness of bartering and begging, of bullying and seducing, creeps in because it’s an ancient mechanism designed to get you what you want – in this case, love. The kind of love that makes you feel better about yourself, that makes you feel wanted, that makes you feel special and worthy. You may have awakened to the ultimate truth of consciousness, you may have recognized the illusion of separateness, but still you play the same old game in relationship. And you are confused .. how can you be awakened and still experience hurt and betrayal and battle in the intimate arena of relationship?
It takes time.
It takes time for the bowl of your heart to be purified of past pain, to be emptied of expectation and need, to be softened into a tenderness that can never contract back into closure.
It takes time – either before or after awakening – to have the dream of perfect relationship or romantic relationship or happy-ever-after totally drummed out of you.
It takes time for the vessel of who you are to know itself as the infinite openness of love even in the most painful places.
Only when you have merged with the totality of life, when life is your only guru, when surrender to what is – over and over again – is your living reality, can you know what true relationship is. This kind of relationship has nothing to do with your comfort or your needs or your wants or your ideas of love. This kind of relationship is beyond understanding. It is something that happens through you and you have no choice in the matter. There are simply two forms dancing through consciousness, like a bubbling brook that shimmers and shifts in the sunlight. And just like water, it is a powerful agent of change, a purifying force that is oh so soft, so fluid .. and yet oh so strong.
Relationship is the litmus test of enlightenment. And it has the power to change the world.