REMEMBER, YOU ARE HELD

My friend, remember. Remember you are held.

When your heart is aching and there’s no cure for this pain, you are held.

When life no longer makes sense and you drift aimlessly like a leaf in the wind, you are held.
When thoughts are seen to be untrustworthy and you fear you’re going insane, you are held.

When the world you once believed in comes tumbling down like a deck of cards and you fall into despair, you are held.
When you feel like a thousand alonenesses standing on a pin-head, you are held.

My friend, remember you are held. You are held by the nakedness of this moment, the raw openness of this feeling, the totality of life’s commitment to be with you wherever and however you are.

It’s not a holding that makes any sense to the mind. There’s no one “out there” (or “up there”) reaching out to grab you as you fall into this abyss of openness, there’s no safety net cast by angels or spirit guides to make your landing more comfortable, there’s no magic bullet – no belief or mantra or practice – that will save you from the bare bones of your experience. But you will be held. You will be held by something that’s not really a “thing” because it cannot be grasped or understood. You will be held by the very fact of your existence … the very fact that you are here having this experience. This “fact” is vaster than anything you can imagine because it contains all things and yet is no thing.

In this remembrance of the very fact of your existence – that you are here and there’s nothing you can do or think to change this fact – you are re-membered, you are put together. All the pieces that fragmented – the scared innocent child, the critical voice of the parent, the helpless victim, the ancient wise one, the rebel who says “f*** it” – and all other parts fashioned out of your personal history and archetypal design – come together into the wholeness of the you that is just here. Just you, here, fully present. No more inner warring, no more struggle to hold onto this part and push away that part, no more argument with reality. In this moment, you are whole.

In this moment, you are held. Held by the undying devotion of this moment showing up for you. Held by the ground of being that has laid itself down for you. Held by the breath that is breathing you and the mystery that is weaving you. Held by the presence that never left you.

My friend, remember. You are always held.

– Amoda Maa

Photo by Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash

One Comment Add yours

  1. I read these words. I am in the moment of falling into that abyss of existence. I am now facing a possibility of “homelessness”. I don’t like that word. I know that I am a house within my Self. It doesn’t matter. I asked others, May I stay with you until my circumstances improve? They all said No. They own spacious, large homes. It is my story that they have no room for. It is the awakening that they cannot abide. I will ask my soul to bring forth my own home. At times, the fear grips me. I laugh aloud because what used to “work”, the feelings of victimization, the shoulds, the shared nightmarish obligations of family, the terror required in order to display love, anger, even gratitude. Yes, I fall away. Unsupportable now. Even wishing for better no longer feels authentic. It’s so hard to want what I’ve never seen. So, I listen, I breathe. Stay alive. Remembering I am the goddess and the religion.

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